Stay strong!

Hi peoples... How are you all recently ? Me ? I just locked myself in the house for many many days just to let my face recover and of course... I 'NO FACE' to meet people too... Everytime when I want to go out, I'll wear a mask. So if anyone of you saw a girl wearing a mask walking on the street, that's me! LOL... 

Actually I don't know what happen to me recently... I should said in these 2 years... Why I become like this ? What makes me change to become like this ? What happen recently ? I don't know who should I ask for. I can't ask my heart, my mind... People live happily outside but how bout me ? My boyfriend always scold me like 'You should appreciate what you have now!' 'You should glad that you have this job!' 'You should be proud of born in this family!' I know! I know everything! I know I should appreciate, glad and proud! But why I can't do that ?! 

Keep telling myself I should stay positive positive and positive! But why negative thoughts still want to attack me ? I very stress... Asking myself: Where is the old Lemonn ? Where is the Lemonn that always laugh and happy ? Where is she ? I don't know what the HELL I stress for! It's like whenever you close your eyes, alot of things flying over and makes you couldn't sleep and end up... Imsonia! 

I met one of my friend, she told me: If you continue thinking and stress like this, you will become crazy one day! Please! Release yourself! I wish to cry out loud but I can't cause I will be difficulty in breathing after the incident last time. I wish to tell someone about my problem but I can't cause I myself don't even know what is the problem now! Stupid stupid me! I should learn from Chuckei, I really admire her because she can write something positive in her blog like the recently blogpost that she blog about her dreams and thoughts. But me ? Only write something negatives... 

Lemonn! Please change ok ? You don't want to become crazy one day right ? It's just small matter and learn how to release stress! You can do it and trust yourself! Goodnight XOXO